For us

For us to be destined to find the determinations,
Influences others by expressing those acheivements.
The wants of our needs seem to be greedy,
but those people who try to grapse their wants do deserve that desire.
The desire to achieve that goal that they are striving for.
Big ups to people getting what they deserve.
You did your best.
Now it's our turn.
Let's make moves!

Summer

Let's do another run before the night meets the sun
While the light meets the night while we chill in the 101

Long drives on the 15 we meet with the fellows out there that we see, we see
Even though the little village we have, we outlast the world that we seek, we seek

Outside in heat where we share drinks and eats
while we play games and ninja on the street

Thug love with the 8ball in hand
while we pass on the juice to the other friend

We got 1, we got 2, we got 3 for you
We got 4 , we got 5, we got 6 to choose
We got 7, we got 8, we got 9 to lose
By the time we hit 10, we start over again, now let loose.. loose.. loose.. loose


Here we go again so this is summer
Always in the heat but cant find your lover
Finish your drink and go grab another
make your breathe stink while the malt sinks further

Light headed, feeling the buzz

Sip the tre-duece and see what it does

snake venom juice make flow through your veins

Let it run through the body, let it enter the brain

Feeling good?.. feeling good... like it should?.. like it should
If all else fails take a sip of the goose


YAAY I lose. =)

AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

AUIDOAEF
....................
oh my god...........
I dont know what I'm thinking about anymore..
Life was done.. Life is done.
Time to start a new one

I'm sorry

For always turning invisible.
For always defending something that's not believed in.
Im sorry for trying to defend you.
I'm also sorry for even trying to be a friend.
I can be a disapointment.
I'm sorry.

To the people that looked up to me.. I'm sorry for falling.
I'm sorry for falling back on what you viewed me as.
I'm sorry for failing for what you see me as.
Believing that I was something.. but end up being nothing.

I'm sorryy.. I really dont know what I do.. What I am... What I be..
I'm sorry for being intimidating or even being a person not to upset.
WHAT THE FUCK... I'm here for you.. any of you guys.. I dont Understand what I do.
To Influence minds because I dont understand what makes you think about me.
I'm NOT a boss. Nor a RoleModel.. not someone that will chop off you arm..
I'm Just a friend so stop thinking Ill get mad about anything.
UAWHUAWFJNHAFJFA
I'm beginning to lose everything.. by having this title or superior being. FUCK MEE!
FUCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK MEE!

Can niggas just be my friend without being scared of what I'll think?...
I'm just trying to inspire you guys for what you guys can do... I'm trying to bring out the best of all of youu!!!!.. So pleasee..
Can I just be a friend.. without having that father rolemodel title....


To you thugs.
I love all you!








............

I hate me

I know People have their problems.
People have way worse problems than me.
But I hate me.
I slack. I give up. I'm weak.
I dont like where I'm standing.
..........

Day 4 of the Summer program

Day 5 will just be working out. No more running! hahha FINALLY!
Freakin this program better get me super buff or skinny to where I can take my shirt off and not be ashamed of my rolls. GG!

Well I'm really really bored.. I have to drop of Angela later on. We were gonna watch UP but I think that plan is failure. Hmm. I'm also black!
-CUZ I'M BLACK YA'LL
-CUZ I'M BLACK YA'LL
-CUZ I'M BIGGITY BIG CUZ I'M BLACK YA'LL

I got so dark. It's starting to actually hurt my head. Well maybe sitting in the dark, in front of a computer is making it hurt. My OG-Bestfriend and Ading are sleeping on the bed while Twilight is on. Oh jeeze. How will I wake them up? hmmm. hhha. BAHHH

ps. they cute together

AEIOFHEAIOFHNAEFH IM SO BORED. FEAUBNOUOBN AEOUI ENHIOF NHEIOFHNuioaefnhiual;rrghAEIFBIAEBFHIEABFHiu =((((()((()()()))((()))

Time to lose more weight.
LET's RUN THIS
blehhhhh

10:00 am Thugs

Let's start off on a lighter note.
First off, congrats to the class of 2009 for completing their years of highschool. I'm proud of all you guys!
Jeff D, Melodie, and Janice's Great Oak graduation was one to remember. Very touching if I must say so myself.
Jesse, Jastine, Angela, and the Joy herself. Chap's graduation was a fun and also one to remember. Crazy people and what not.
After math was drinking at Paul's house to celebrate for them
I wish everyone were there!

Next day, Us DOTposse members went to perform for seriously like 5 mins total hahah. Pretty fun but gay at the same time. Made a delish video at francis's house. Melodie's pretty funny when it comes to trying to hold in her laugh. HAHA
Went to Patrick's house. It was cool seeing that guy again. Hopefully that guy can come and hangout more often. Forrealy though I miss that boy.
Then went to pick up girlfriend.
Then we went off to go to Jesse's pad. Ohhh jeeeze.. Delish food all overrrrr. Yummy steak and beef stew. WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GOD Steak coming straight from a cow leg. WOWWWW hahhaa.. Jesse said it was around $600 i think. Straight up bought it from a farm HAHAH shit was the bombbbbbbbyy
hahahahhah. Jesse, tell your mom that her food was extra bomb. Beef stew for the win! I want some againn!

HAHA


On the darker note, The Thugs and I are commited to do a summer program that will intense our minds and tone our body's. If we can stick with this program for atleast 1 month, we'll see a difference. I just hope that we can stick with it. It's a team workout so if it comes to less and less people, it'll fail. Let's see who sticks with it.
Jesse and I made a wager for $30.00. By August 13th, 2009, Jesse must have a 6 pack and I must weight 160(I weight 178 at the moment). If Neither of us get to reach the goal, we keep the $30.00 and put a fatty fatty mcfat fat fail sign on our fat bodies. If He or I reach it and one of us dont reach it, either or has to pay $30.00. Now if both of us reach the goal, we dont owe each other anything and gain much more than $30.00, but a delish kiss body. SUPPP, who else is down to wager!??!?!?


Let's run thiss!!!!!!!!
SUMMER PROGRAM, HERE WE COME!

Meet at my house, 930am-9:55am.
Bring water, towels, and more water.

Don't give up on me thugs.!

The ButterFly Effect. Let's Run This

At times we all have thoughts about what if I weren't in the position I were in now.
Like Places we would be at, who would be our friends, significant others, jobs, schools, and whatever.
Well I think, like many people, everything happens for a reason.
We have our thoughts about the "if" but mutha fucka, I wouldnt have it any other way.
You see, in highschool I was a white washed white boy. Partied with the skaters/punkers/hardcore kids. Raised with a gangster brother who taught me the ropes to the bad life. Raised with another brother who just knew right from wrong. Raised fat, so that I couldnt get any girls so I respect girls the most; that's why I dont call girls whores, ho's, slut's, bitches, nor anything offensive to the female gender(unless they really are bitches). If I didnt learn anything about that, I wouldnt be me. If I had not moved from my party life/ get the shit beat out of me, I wouldnt be where I'm at. I wouldnt be at MSJC deciding what I want to do. I wouldn't be Bboying. I wouldn't be sitting with my THUGSofWINCO. And most of all, I wouldn't be with Vanessa if I hadn't. And by golly gee gosh, I wouldn't have it any other way. My life is a book ready to be read and I'm the narrator. Like us all, we have the power to choose what we want to do. We have our paths. Make it the best. Choose your companions well Because that's what you need. Make goals and pursue them.

Can't dwell on the past to think what if, so let's think of the now. Can't be Ashton Kutcher and go back in time. Everything happens for a reason, So dont think of it. Live it. That's why we live. This isnt some butterfly effect! If you want to change it, do it now! So let's fuckin RUN THIS!

Class of 2007 was a bad year but I'll rep that shit
To the Class of '08 , first year experiencing life without guide lines, Continue doing what you do!
Class of '09. Life will come at you quick like a bullet. Once it hits you, you realize that it fuckin hurts, but if you survive, move on.
Jesse, Jeff D., Jastine, Mae-Angela, Melodie, and the rest of '09 and the continue life forms, WE GOT YOUR BACK!

CONGRATS TO Class of 2009.
Run that SHIT

As for me, I'm glad to look foward. I got my girl. I got my friends. I got my family. I got my motivation.
MSJC, Im leave your ugly face soon and move on to a better school. Hopefully Move out with the best fuckin people everrr!

My Sims life goal will earn me some points. My real life will earn me achievement.

So fuck the butterfly effect. I got my NOW EFFECT ON.

GG! Let's RUN THIS

JAYdotAREdot
WINCO THUGS(My Niggas)

job

I need one.. GG
Vito got an interview.. not me
It's because hes black huh?

HAHA
damnnit

Bring you up.. smile

Another Thursday.
Yes, can't believe what's happening. Time is almost done with school. School is almost messing me up. I think I failed my test today in Geography. That's what I get for not studying. What is wrong with me? I don't even understand myself. Problems with my actions.. hurts more than words definetly. Can't describe what im feeling because i'm just feeling the sorrow.
That's how it is though. GG

I got into something that I shouldn't have and i'm probably going to hear the most of it later on. I'm sorry. I'm just getting drained from it.

Today, I've been reading The Rose That Grew From Concrete. It's freaking sooo tight.
Here's one of my favorites:
"The Power of a Smile"
-The power of a gun can kill
and the power of the fire can Burn
The power of the wind can chill
and the power of the mind can learn
The power of anger can rage
inside until it tears u apart
But the Power of a Smile
especially yours can heal a frozen heart-

ohh man. It that was so good haha

Around 4 o' clock I met up with my friend Lisa.
She's been having problems with her Fam, her kid, her love relationship, her baby's daddy, work, school, and money. Battling her ex boyfriend for custody of the baby. Damnnn.
I feel for her. She's going through so much and there's is so little that she can do. She like has no time for anything.
And for me being here since me and her were in 8th grade, things change. I just have to be there fo her as much as I can. I can't help her with everything in her life, but ill be there as a shoulder to lean on. Even just for a smile because life's tough. I said that I'd help her with school as much as I can. I'm not a genius, but I'll do what I can.

Well on my way to ASL class. After is practice. Then I don't know what after.

My life isn't bad to Many people. Just for me though. As for many of us. We all stress on things. Just remember.... that we don't have it as bad as many people in this world.

Respect to EVERYONE doing their thing.
Once life gets you down. There's Always one person to Bring you off your feet.

We riding. We busting. We smiling

I have no idea why I put that on my title but you know.

Well my weekend. GG. Friday went to kick it with my boy Vito. Me and Van picked him and his sidekick Ani and we just kicked it. I cleaned his pool and while Vito was taking off the cover to the pool, a dead fuckin mouse. It was all mushy gushy. It was like it was there for a month or something. But its all good.. HAHAHA yee. Went to a deaf event play thing. That was pretty cool but I should have just stayed at Vito's. After I went to pick up Van and then we went with Jojo and Debbie to Sacco's house. Freakin lives in the mountains past the Chainsaw houses. GG but that was pretty cool. Got kind of messed up but its all good!

Saturday was Vito's birthday but I didnt get to spend time with him. Hope I didnt ruin the surprise. Hope you had fun man and im sorry for not kickin it.
Well yeah I went to San Diego to spend time with Greg because his birthday was on Friday. Super excited to roll down. On my way there. Seriously fuckin 1 exit away to his house, I got a speeding ticket.. MUTHA FUCK CUNT. 85 on a 65. GG fuckin shit. There goes my perfect driving record. Atleast I got my reality check. Drive speed limits dawggy.
Well I got to Greg's finally and it was a win day. His friends are dope. His friends threw him a party. We partied in the hood. God driving around the hood, is like an adrenaline rush. That's just me though. HAHA
yeah we drank the night away basically. Beerpong, birthday shots, and cheating kings cup. HAHA ended the night at 330am. Well that was me anyways haha

Sunday, we woke up at 830-900am. Fools were talking shit about how I was sleeping. HAHA I guess I didnt move at all. HAHAHA pretty funny. Went to go eat pho and then dropped Gregs friends off. Kicked it at Greg's house and I made a my mom a "Happy Mutha's Day" card. Yee thats how I spelt it on her card. She liked that card. GG card. Made everything better since I got bitched at for the ticket but theyre cool about it now. Stayed at home and then picked up Van. Got some romantic yogurt/gelato and walked cutely through the outside part of the mall. Then we got some romantic super fries. Delish kiss. Watched some family guy. OMG Vanessa's laugh when she watches Family Guy, GG!! so fuckin cute. HAHA

-Now for conclusion. This weekend was tight. Sorry vito for not staying but we shall kick it again soon. Prolly Tuesday. Happy be-lated Bday
-I'm down to kick it with Greg and his homies again. I miss that ass face
-Another day with Vanessa= more lego blocks for our relationship.

GG
We Ride, We bust, We smile.

the A.M. KILLER!

It's 5:12 am and Van's in the shower. We just got back just a few minutes ago.
Start of my saturday
1000am classs.. and last class end 8pm
practice at 9pm
GG life
HAHAHA damn

Let's goo!!

OH

OHHH PEE PEEEE!
OHHHHHHHH
OHHH
OHOH
OHO
OH
OH
OH
OH
OH
OH
OH
OH
HO
OH
HO
HO
HO
HOH
OH
OH
OH
ALA SIGE
BAHHH
FAH KAH SAH KAH
DUKA FAHKAH NAH

NAH DEEZ AHN NAH MALS HURT

OH OHOH OHOHOHOH
HOH
OHOH
OHOH
OHOH
HO
HO
HOHOHHOH
HOH
OH
HO
HOH
HO
HHO
H

wtf is wrong with me!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEE
yay
ya
ya
ya
ya
y
ay
ayay
a
yay
aya
yy
ay
ay
ay
ya
ay
ay
a
ya
ya
yay
ay
ay
y
ay
yyay
y
ay
y
ay
omg
FUCK my LIFE

AH GAH SUH KAH PHO SHAOOOOOWWW!

GG

First time, in my entire fuckin LIFEE!!, I have ever been so stressed about things. School, dancing, family, financial, etc.
I want to erase my mind completly and burn the remaining thoughts that lead me to my angerly moments. WOW!
GG daysss.. These days are just so hard. Last of the semester just packed on with tons of homework. Practicing nothing because everyone is passing me up and im getting left behind. Out of shape breathing. No cash to spend time with anyone, or barely do anything like i used to. Drama going and rushing to my face all day!.. I just want a break! Just a day to relax and sit. Get away from all the pressure and just chill to get my head away from all the physical and emotional stress.
Hopefully going to Greg's house can put some things out of my head. San Diego here I come. Clear my mind yeah?

I'm getting tired of this. I got to hold on though. Stay strong. Live Life. I'm still young. So stress is normal for now. I just want to start life already. GG life... GG stress.. GG emotions.. GG me

totes Thuggin'.. ps.

ps.
I can fall, and sometimes it takes a while for us to get back on our feet

totes Thuggin'

To start off the mutha asshole weekend, The Thugs killing it off. Fuckin smoked in some flip cup my nigga. TOTES TOTES TOTES SMOKED! hahaha but it was fun.
Heard them Winco's killed it at the GreatOak thing. WincoThugs doin they thang all day err day!
I love WincoThugs!
I heard Jeff D. is having some beef with some assface from greatoak. Nigga dont mess with a thug. Mess with one, mess with all! nah saying. HAHHA

well i feel Totes black right now so im going to stop. HAHA

Im guessing we are going to see Common today. dont know when all this is happening but you know. I guess just go with the plan. Tonight is the Pacman fight against Hatton. AHH niggggggggaa, GAMETIMEEEE BABYYY, LET'S GOOO!!! FILIPINO PRIDE DAWGGGGG!!

Oh sheet. Resty got the Manager position at his job. Fuckin how gangster is that. OMG! hasnt even started work yet but damn GG. Proud of that nigga forreal. And all he does is ___ ____ HAHA but hes doing his thing so I cant hate.

Couple of the thugs are gonna get up on Diablo 2. Ya'll niggas better get on as well. Its gonna be tight. The summer game if so. Hopefully. HAHAH i always say the game. But no one gets it the same time. BAH
It'll just end up being me and resty playing. GG

Morning sucked.DotA fucked me over today. fuckMYlife!

End for today. Hopefully I have a Better rest of the day.

Keep your head up

Listening to Pac!
While listening to this artist, I might as well put out my favorite line.

"If you fall, stand tall and come back for more."
Oh damn this has showed me more about life.
I can use this quote for many things!
If things are getting me down in life i think of this line because.... how hard can a person fall before giving up? How many times can a person sit and regret things that are passed and ponder upon how they messed up? How many times can a person think about mistakes and do nothing but complain? Not getting anything out of it. How many times can a person quit because something is too HARD!!?

Life always has hard times. I mean who said life is easy. We may have it easy than many but sit down and think about it. Nothing is ever easy! Theres always going to be a complication. Why sit and complain about it? Why not get up and try again? Why not try what we say we're going to do?
It doesnt hurt to try. It hurts to fail though. But if you do, then try again until it's better.

Let us all have a glass of courage and pride.
Because we control our destiny, not fate itself.
So let us make ourselves live to our fullest potential.
And if you fall.... stand tall and come back for more.

Can i..

Say something.. blog Punch.
Yes, its not cool

Changed?

What am i now?
Was i the same person as i was before?
What have i changed into?
Was i nicer before?
Am i a dick now?
Am i shady?
What is it?
WHAT IS IT THAT PEOPLE SEE IN ME NOW?!
WHY?
HOW?
Explain to me if i changed?
From Back in the days to now!
WHAT HAS CHANGED?!?

Because i get weird ass vibes now.. like i turned into something else.
Enemy or not. Talk shit behind my back i dont care just let me know what the fuck is up!
I dont want to hear shit like this this or that from someone else. WHAT???

Pain'o away

Something new! Well, new blog anyways on something that can be seen on myspace. Blogspot, the way we rule our blog moments.. YEE YEE!

Last night, we were doing our monday routine practices and well i got a little crazy, hand hop seisuzes and PLOWWW!! Landed on my forbidden elbow. OoOo it hurt soo good! So good that the pain pretty much swelled my elbow and just tore my elbow muscle, well thats what it feels like. If you dont know what i mean is that it feels like a rotating knife is in my elbow stratching my bone everytime i make contact with it or move my arm a certain way.

I was going to go to urgent care last night when it started hurting but i wanted to see my girlfriend until she left for longbeach in the morning. I'd rather see her anyways. But anyways i decided to go after my first class, which is Geography. OH MY GOSHH that class is sooo boring! The teacher doesnt even try to make the class interesting! Talk about inspiring students to major in Geography. SHEEEZE. Well in class freakin i was falling asleep and Jojo and Mary were waking me up saying, "the teachers looking at you" and i was like oh well. Well it got to the point where i was sitting up straight and my eyes just drifted off and i slept for 15 seconds. Within that 15seconds with my eyes down and heavenly sleeping, a rubber band hits me in the face. I wake up in a jolt only to find out that Jojo thought it would be funny to shoot a rubber band in my face to wake me up. Clever Brother, ill get you back when you sleep in that class.

After class, We went to urgent care to check up on my elbow. I bought my PSP and Zune because i knew i would be waiting for a long time. Jojo left as soon as he dropped me off. I checked in and did my thing, signed a few papers and sat and waited. Doctor calls me in. Tell him that my Elbow is hurting. The first thing the doctor does is check to see where my elbow is hurting. He applied pressure with his thumb to see where i would say ow. He was moving his Thumb and suddenly he presses on the most sensitive part everrrr! Oh my gosh i cant even explain how bad it hurt and i expressed it loudly. I said, "OWWWW!!" and he goes on and touches with my arm some more. AGAIN HE HITS THE SPOT. DOUBLE THE OWWW. This fucker heard me say ow already and he goes and presses it again. All he says, "go get xrays next door and come back" I was like WTF my arm hurts even worse and all you can say is that!??! BITCHH!!!

Anyways while in the xray room i waited there for about 2 hours for the wait. Playing psp and listening to music, i had a cramp in my right arm. I went to adjust myself and suddenly my elbow hits the wall. Oh my gOSH!! I am such and idiot i thought like wow, how come the wall is closer to me? Not only once i hit the wall with my elbow but twice. My elbow is in such pain. Well got the xrays and went back to the doctor and he said, "nope, no fracture so all you need to take is Ibuprofen, ice it, and use an ace bandage." WOW all that wait, pain, and more pain and all i got was prescription and advice. Dr. Phil could have gave me better advice than that shit! Give me surgery or something cuz this shit feels like an uncomfortable stomach ache on my elbow. YIPPY!

Well, my elbow hurts and now im behind in class. Must life get any worse.. Oh nope.. its just getting started.
Time to read my class books because i got to get caught up!

Another thing, i love you Vanessa.